Chester Horrors

Q & A

Chesters Reviews



Humans vs. Zombies
Brian T. Jaynes

Some people can use phrases like "What a film!" and it's the next few words that will conclude the direction, such as, "What a film, what a lump of poop that needs to be flushed down the pipe!"
The camera work was so bad, that even I, the "Creepy" Chester Horrors, was left with a bit of a turn in the stomach. The holes in the story were so bad that I went through the stages. Stage one laughable, stage two frustrated, stage three angry, stage four wanted the writer/director Brain T. Jaynes slapped, and finally stage five, just remembered it will end soon. 
In an example of EXTREME plot hole: A decision is made to make a dash to the hardware store, yet when there, the character Tommi starts to blame Frank for the decision, yet even the distracted viewer will see he didn't even suggest it. The acting by Dora Madison Burge aka Tommi was bad, very bad and was not convincing at all, so bloody awful.
At the start of the film, two horny people are getting loose on the beach, when the woman is attacked out of nowhere by a weird old man. She has a chunk of flesh missing and is losing excessive blood. Her horny lover comes over and she says "take me home"… Now I ask YOU, is this what one would say after having a chunk of flesh ripped out by a stranger on a beach, or would a more appropriate phrase be…"TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL NOW".  Another example of poor writing and direction is when the group all decide to make a run for it to the church, yet they tried to fill the script with unnecessary dialogue between characters as they all agree to leave but are still discussing about going! We see them all getting ready for the rush and padding out Brad with protection, yet trying to give some eye candy for the guys, they leave Tommi with bare flesh exposed! Hmmm… now here’s the last poor example, because I could carry on for a while… WHY DID NONE OF THEM TRY A BLOODY CAR TO DRIVE!!!  Brad was on the right track when he pulled up in the truck. 
The one thing I will say about this movie is that Chip Joslin aka Brad was played fantastic, every time this guy was on camera it made me laugh!

I would watch this movie again, just to laugh at it and to watch Chip act!


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